THE INTERNAL SENSE OF SELF WORTH

One day my neighbour’s 12-year-old son came to me and said, “My classmates say that they hate me because I am not fair and tall.” I was dumbstruck at such a rude statement from his classmates and asked him to ignore them.

Since that day onwards he daily came to talk to my family and repeated the same thing in one or the other manner- like I am short, I don’t look good, I’m not fair, I am not too rich and so on..

This clicked me and I understood that none of his classmates say anything but because of his poor self-image and low self-esteem he continuously building stories in his mind, every time. This could be the story of many children across the globe which is the result of low self-image/self-worth, further giving way to low self-esteem and at times low self-confidence as well.

What is low self-esteem?

Low self-esteem is when a child lacks confidence relating to others, which makes it difficult for him/her to establish relationships and thrive in social environments. It may also ruin a child’s ability to cope with adversities in future.

But perhaps the worst part of low self-esteem is that a person feels inadequate, compares himself negatively to others and don’t believe in himself.

Overcoming low self-esteem can be a long journey but taking baby steps towards this journey can make a big difference.

Here are some ways by which you can raise the self-esteem of your children-

• Make your kids value themselves. Always be supportive and realistic, but not overprotective; and stop spoon-feeding. Too much of everything is harmful.

• Encourage your kids to have good friends because friendship is a big aid in building positive self-esteem. This should not be confused with having tons of friends or being popular in peer-groups. Just having one friend who accepts you for who you are can make all the difference.

• Keep reminding your kid of a memory of something that he/she did well in the past. It will allow him/her to tap into confidence and carry that feeling forward as they tackle challenges in their upcoming lives.

• Help them to socialise. At times it has been noticed that a ‘single child’ in the family suffers with low self-esteem. Helping them socialise with other children of the society or in the neighbourhood would help them in perceiving a better self-image.

• Praise and recognition help kids in ways that build self-esteem. Teach them to be proud of their efforts and accomplishments. But refrain from lavish praise on everything they do. Kids know when they’ve been successful and worked hard - and when they haven’t.