Modern day parents fulfill their responsibilities in three different ways. These three approaches are explained below. Assess your behaviour to see in which category you see yourself. If you find yourself in the third category as described below, then it is a sign of good parenting.
1)First category is of those parents who are very harsh in temperament. They want to force their nurturing and rules and regulations on the children. They never express their concern and love for their children. When such a father enters the house, children immediately sit silently in fear. It appears as if there is a curfew in the house. Children behave in a respective admirable way.
Those parents who want to nurture their children very harshly and strictly have a three-point formula. For example, if the child at home is busy playing games on mobile phone, they will first, stop him. Even after 15 minutes if he doesn’t listen and continues, they will yell at the child. In spite of two attempts the child doesn’t listen then they will beat the child. So, the easiest way according to them to train children is first prevent, then yell and finally trounce. These kinds of parents want to see their children as robots that live their lives in accordance to a program set. Such parents punish their children on every small matter. When a child returns from school, Instead of asking what they played with other children, they inquire studies done and homework given, etc. The nature of such parents is like that of a dictator. They feel proud of such behaviour. Such type of parents is called as ‘Authoritarian Parents’.
2)Second category is of those parents who are completely neglectful towards their children and their training. They give complete liberty and freedom to their children. Some parents adopt this approach deliberately on purpose while some adopt it out of helplessness or under some difficult situation. For example, if they are working parents, they leave early in the morning and reach late at night. If they are religious and are into some organization they become so occupied in programs and meetings that they find it difficult to give some time for their children. They have time for others in their schedule but not for their own children. Even though being socially active, they fail to maintain a balance.
Some rich parents also fall into this category they give complete liberty to their children. Along with freedom children are also given a lot of money. They free themselves completely from supervision and from taking care of the children. Such parents want freedom for themselves as well as for their children. I got a case of a student studying in std. IX. She fell in love with a student of std. XI. When the girl’s parents went to the boy’s house to talk to his parents, the boy’s father said, ‘This is quite common nowadays. Our time was different – today it is something else.’ Such parents are called irresponsible or uninvolved parents.
This category also contains those parents who love their children extremely. They fulfil every wish of their child. They make their children believe or realize that all their wishes are fulfilled very easily. Struggle or effort has no place in life. They ignore all the bad behaviours and weaknesses of their children. Children who are under the guardianship of such parents are not aware of the realities and facts of life. Hence, they would not be capable of accepting any challenges in life in the future. Generally, girls under such parenting do not prove to be good wives. Since they are never into any discord at home before marriage, hence, after marriage, on encountering any rift or clash at in-laws, they become uncontrollable thinking that this should never happen in life.
Parents should teach the children how to patch up with after a fight. Parents should also express their anger in a reasonable and suitable manner when required. Children should be made to realize their mistake. They should learn to ask forgiveness as well as to forgive. They should not think that any unfulfilled demand is a failure.
The third category is of those parents who have a sense of their responsibilities and who realize their responsibilities. These types of parents raise their children very positively along with providing better education. Neither are they dictators nor irresponsible. Such parents up-bring their children by being as friends and mentors. Children who inherit such parents are very fortunate. Parents who know the art of positive parenting stay happy and keep their children happy. These parents provide such a social and psychological environment to their children that their upbringing and development is done positively. If one needs to study for 4-5 years to become a Doctor or an Engineer, then don’t you think that parents require knowledge and education for good parenting? It is obligatory in Islam to be good and responsible parents. Let us try to become such best parents. If parents instil the following attributes, qualities, and approach in them they can fulfill their responsibilities as the best parents.
So which parent category do you fall in?
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