Parents always notice weaknesses and find faults in their children. Even if they do not find any faults or weaknesses in their child, they end up comparing him or her with other children and they make the child feel inferior. Such parents assume that such an approach will make their child righteous and hardworking. But this approach is not right. By adopting such illogical approach or attitude towards the children will never produce any positive spirit in them but on the contrary it affects them negatively.
Some parents demean their child in the presence of others. Especially when friends and relatives assemble in the house, they narrate weaknesses and pass negative remarks. The child patiently tolerates it for a couple of times, but later hesitates to meet any of his/her parent’s friends or relatives and even avoids them by going out of home. This is because he/she thinks that the parent might start complaining in front of the guests. Often mother’s say, “you never study, see my brother’s son.” Or sometimes they start comparing the child with their neighbour’s children. Of course! We should give examples of successful children but never belittle your own child. Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) has forbidden from insulting or humiliating our children in front of others.
Whenever there is an educated guest in the house some parents, while introducing their children, complain that their child doesn’t study or has no interest in studies. They request the guest to enlighten the child to stop behaving in such manner. In fact if you observe some uncommon defect, changes or a weakness in your child then it is better that you consult a good psychologist in the city.
Appreciate Your Child’s School
Usually those parents whose children attend government school or private school where fee is much less are victims of inferiority complex. Mothers of these children complain that, “if my husband’s income was better then we would have also admitted our children in private schools.” Mothers of those children who attend private schools also say that, “if my husband’s income was better, I would have admitted my children in a bigger school.” I would like to ask these mothers a question that in Government schools is Z taught as A and in private schools is A taught as Z? It is not so. Even today many geniuses born are the product of government or less-fees schools. Actually government school teachers are better than private school teachers.
If parents do not appreciate their child’s school in front of them and term the school ‘useless’ ‘bad’ than the child loses interest with the school. Then the children start thinking that if it is my school that is not good enough, then what will I study. And he starts blaming the school for all his laziness, disinterestedness and weakness. He starts believing that I am good but my school is not that good. Parents, instead, should tell their children about people who are now successful and were student of that school.
Appreciate the Teachers
Some parent’s say that the school is good but they do not like the class teacher or a particular subject’s teacher of their child. They start complaining about the class teacher in front of others even when their child is present. Some parents go to an extent telling the child directly that the teacher is not good, etc.
Never complain about the teacher or underestimate them in front of the children. The importance of the teacher will lessen and children start disrespecting the teacher. The second psychological outcome is that, the child will believe that ‘I am intelligent but since my teacher is not good enough hence, I am unable to study’. Children blame their shortcomings on the teacher. That is why always appreciate the teachers in front of your children and instruct them to respect them. If possible, invite the teacher at home over a feast. Parents should contribute a lot to build a good relation between children and teachers.
It is in th ehands of children to provide the best possible for the children in the means available to them but positive words and motivation can always bring out the best in the child.9+
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